Inspiration

…is something that is 100% necessary for me to push through. Push through struggles as a mom, struggles as a photographer, struggles as an artist. There are a million people out there that want to tell you “No.” There are a million people that don’t care if you succeed or not and of those million people, there are prolly quite a few (like hundred thousand) that secretly DON’T want you to succeed. Whether or not you are aware of this, sometimes we feel like that is exactly what everyone is thinking and sometimes we allow that to hold us back. When I made the decision to become a photographer a year and half ago, I didn’t really KNOW what that meant. I just wanted to take pretty pictures. Now, the game has changed…completely. It’s no longer enough to take pictures of cute moments every now and then. My brain has transitioned from what started as a hobby to becoming a full blown lifestyle/career. I demand perfection of myself. I WILL only create pieces of art for my clients. I WILL achieve that by practicing everyday, filling my head with artistic and technical knowledge and most importantly, by truly BELIEVING that I am destined for greatness. If you’re a budding photographer, you’re prolly dealing with same insecurities as I have/am. My best advice to you is find a photographer you really admire. Read their blog everyday, absorb the little or plethora of knowledge they offer and keep going. Don’t ever stop. If photography is truly your passion, no one will stand in your way, only you.

For me, reading the blog of Jasmine Star is what pushed me through. The honesty and knowledge she provides is unheard of in this industry and more importantly, she’s a fighter. She never let her insecurites stop her from achieving her goals, even though she wrote about them honestly and frequently, and now is one of the top photographers in the country.Take one browse of her blog and you will have a mountain of inspirational words, images and useful knowledge for days and days. And, if you’re not a photographer, but like anyone, could use a little pick me up, I hope this little dose of awesomeness in words, I posted up above, gives you a litte extra pep in your step. As for me? I’m gonna go pep all around with my baby today, it’s 90 degrees out and meant to be enjoyed.

Happy Thursday!

2 Things…

First things first. Today is our 4 year wedding anniversary. Uh, that is, mine and my Handsomeness’s. We are truly, TRULY bff’s and I’m not even kidding. We live in this bubble and no one’s allowed in…except for Gavin and I LOVE it. We always have each others back and our number 1 goal is to see that the other reaches their full potential, no matter what. His dreams are my dreams and mine are his. With that said, I’m so excited for this weekend! My mommy’s coming in to town to watch lil guy and we’re just totally free to do whatever we want! I tell you what, freedom was something i REALLY took for granted before having babies. We’re gonna get back to basics, as they say. Dinners, movies(lots of movies), shopping, maybe roadtripin it…who knows! I do know that we can do whatever we want, and that is exhilarating in and of itself.

So, while we’re on the theme of “special days,” yesterday was pretty special. After hrs and hrs of research, reviews and stocking Jose Villa and Elizabeth Messina (my 2 favorite photographers), I made a pretty big purchase. I bought me a Carl Ziess 50mm Planar T 1.4 ZE lens!!!! Apparently, because I’m such a good stalker, I found out that Jose and Elizabeth shoot on Carl Zeiss lenses and swear by them. They, of course, shoot mostly film, which is why their pictures are beyond gorgeous and hard for a digital shooter to ever come close to recreating, but I figured this would be as close as I could get  for now, until i make the transition to film (which i WILL do, believe me). After further research, it became clear that the Zeiss 50 mm may be just about the sharpest lens out there. The Germans know their glass, I tell you what. This lens is beautiful and STURDY! Because its 100% manual focus (yeah, like the old days, back when you had to actually work to get the shots), the body is composed entirely of metal, which means this bad boy, provided its taken care of, should last a lifetime. I can’t tell you how good it feels to have made this decision. I love photography like a fat kid loves cake and to make the transition from having autofocus as an option to investing in such a nice lens as my priamary lens that doesn’t, well, it just tickles me pink. To challenge myself in this way, it can only make me better, more confidant, more aware and thoughtful of the shots I’m taking. Next stop, Contax 645 film camera. One step at a time though, I will get there and it will be worth every frustrating second when I do.

I’m so excited to get back to the basics this weekend. The basics of just being with my handsome, on OUR schedule and remembering what its like to be just the 2 of us, for just a little while. The basics of photography, shooting manual in both camera and lens, all while simultaneously getting comfortable and perfecting my craft, opening the door to film. The basics of enjoying everything this weekend will have to offer and at the end of the day, being able to come home to my beautiful baby boy and wonderful mommy and to never miss another second of the freedom I had before I became a mommy.

Happy Thursday!

Did Somebody Get Into The Scissors????

….was the question our sweet hair dresser asked as she laid eyes on my beautiful/dorkified baby boy. “Uh, ya someone got into the scissors and his name is Daddy!” was my reply. We all had a good laugh of course, but I could see the shame written all over my Handsome’s face as we walked Gavin over to the styling chair. What the heck happened, is what you’re prolly wondering???? It went a lil something like this….Last night, I’m on the computer, being a photog fanatic, researching the crap out of lenses when I hear “Honey, I’m think I should cut Gavin’s hair, it’s getting in his eyes.” I reply, in a zombie, I’m glued to the computer and am pretending to acknowledge you tone “No,” and back to my business I went. Not 2 seconds later I hear an “Uh Oh,”  look over and see James holding a massive chunk of hair in his hands, looking at me like a little kid that got into something naughty, but trying to play it cool, like it’s no biggie. At this moment I become somewhat lightheaded, rush over to Gavin and discover this….

The name’s Christmas…Loyd Christmas. I got worms.

At this point, I feel like maybe it isn’t real and I’m hallucinating in my sleep and I’ll wake up riiiiiight…..now. So I take a seat and think about life for a moment, look over at Gavin and realize, No, you’re awake, so deal with your reality. I put my hands over my mouth and try not to laugh, which wasn’t hard since the moment I did, it quickly went from slightly humorous, to full blown balling! What did he do??!! I’ll tell you what he did. He destroyed my hopes and dreams of forcing Gavin to stay a baby, is what he did! I’m not gonna lie, I had been putting off this haircut for as long as possible. It was my way of retaining my baby for as long as I could. Plus, I totally had awesome, cool-kid hair plans for him, when the time was right. He was totally gonna rock the hawk. Not anymore.  Once Handsome saw what a complete and utter mistake he had made, he immediately began to apologize and beat himself up. He also assured me, that he would spend the rest of his LIFE making it up to me and being “my slave” (his words, not mine). I think, prolly not, but I will milk it for as long as possible.

So, here we are, the next morning. James came home after court, made a reservation at a fancy salon (all James’ idea, he wanted it to be an “experience”) on Sunset and off we went to get my baby boy’s FIRST HAIRCUT, because you know the “trim” Handsome gave him, doesn’t actually count. Even though I wasn’t at all ready for this, I still can’t help but think it was necessary. My baby is becoming a big boy and we all know I’m not eager to make any leaps when it comes to moving on to big boy things, so, in a way, I’m lucky to have a hubby that is a bit careless with the scissors and takes a “little off the top.” He balances me out perfect and puts into perspective whats really important. My boy may be a little dorkified for the time being, but he’s happy, healthy and perfectly in tact and I couldn’t be more grateful. Plus, I think his hair turned out pretty dashing, all things considered…..

Please enjoy this unreasonable amount of pictures….

 

he looks just a little traumatized

 

 

 

 

Happy Tuesday!

Love Looks Like…

this…..

and this…..

and this….

This weekend was not exactly the fun-filled family weekend we had been planning. You see, we’ve been shut-ins for a good 2 months, working on the website and photos and emailing and blah blah blah. So, this was supposed to be our “we’re not deadbeat parents and totally take our son out to the aquarium and other fun stuff that parents take their toddlers to do” type of weekend. Such grand ideas we had, but alas, we made it to the park for about an hour on Saturday (which was really chilly) and to Starbucks on Sunday (raining). Totally NOT our fault BTW. If you don’t live here, then maybe you heard about the MONSOON??? Or something like it, at least. I honestly couldn’t tell you the difference had I been in a real one (which I never actually have). How about FLASH FLOOD WARNINGS!?! They came on TV along with that annoying “behhhh” sound during the middle of iCarly and it was downright scary! We were all ready for the aquarium too. Seriously, like I did my hair and makeup and put on boots, ready. Snacks and diapers were packed, the works. Then, we literally drove about 6 ft down our street, only to witness a huge palm tree branch slam down on some random car, all while dodging about 4 HUGE branches that had fallen only a few minutes before. So, we drove 3 blocks to Starbucks. That was it. Nothing special, nothing to even write about (but since nothing else happened, I wrote about it), and you know what, it was totally wonderful! I even snuck a really cute pic of baby and daddy passed out on the couch…which NEVER happens. So, I guess you could say it was actually quite a lovely weekend, filled with lovely moments. Hope you have a Happy Monday!

Fabulous Friday

I think this might be a thing…maybe? maybe not. okay, probably. Every Friday, I will end my post with something fabulous. Today’s fabulouseness will consist of nothing other than…shoes!! What gal doesn’t like shoes? If she is out there, maybe I don’t wanna know. I send all of you my fabulous shoe wishes today…either you get a new pair, just because it’s Friday, rediscover an old favorite you haven’t worn in a long time, or, if you’re a bride, you find the perfect pair of splurge worthy, sky high, too magnificent to ever wear again heels for your even more magnificent wedding 🙂   As for me, I may end up finding my self in the shoe section at Nordstrom’s, or if I’m a good girl, just reorganize my closet and realize I don’t ever need to buy another pair again (ok, i know this part is a lie, but it helps to round out my post).  Whatever happens today, I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Happy Friday!!!!

Pressing Matters…

The weather yesterday was nothing short of spectacular. With the summer months seemingly fast approaching, I’ve had an eye out for important things. Nail polish. Yes, very important things. I think, with the minimal amounts of clothing summer demands, accessorizing becomes oh-so necessary and one of my favorite ways to do this, is with nail polish. It’s the finishing touch. Like a good bag. People pay attention to this (at least I do) and it can take a simple summer ensemble, to oh-so chic and intentionally constructed. It’s ALL about the details! I FIRMLY believe this and practice it as often as possible. I know it’s not easy to maintain such trivial things when you have a job and kids, but I implore you to just try it out. Give it a week. A week of choosing your “go to” polish and maintaining it. You’ll feel fabulous, put together and have a lil extra pep in your step. Did I really just say “pep in your step?”  Pay no attention to my geriatric phrasing. It will happen more than once, I assure you. With that said, here are my final choices for “go to” summer nails…

Angel Food, by Essie. The Perfect French Pink. You can see me wearing it in my Intro video on my website.

Coney Island Cotton Candy. I think this is the pure-fect pedi polish. It makes any tan look oh-so luscious, which in turn makes for very pretty feet. I pair this color with my new FAVORITE sandals. They are a blush-y tan and paired with this polish, they are the perfect summer staples.

With warm weather in LA, sometimes comes warm nights. This is my absolute favorite time of night. Just as the sun is starting to set, the warm air and the heady scent of pink jasmine wafting all around. I couldnt help but take a couple pics if the things that make me happy in our back yard. Happy Wednesday!

Shot just as the sun was almost gone

Chinese lanterns and Art Nouveau tiles make me all a-flutter.

Some day…

he’ll actually fit into his daddy’s shoes and that freaks me out and breaks my heart. I’m so in love with this age, why cant it just last a little longer? 2 more years, at 19 months, would be just perfect. Oh well, a mommy can dream can’t she? I’ll just end up being the super inappropriate mom that lingers around the school a little too long, just to make sure her “baby” is alright and demands kisses goodbye in front of all his friends when he’s 10. Don’t worry, it’s cool, I’ve got it all worked out and I’m fine with it.

On a less creepy and more uplifting note, my launch went amazing yesterday, I even got a few inquiries about wedding bookings! I’m so beyond thrilled with all the positive responses and great feedback and I’m just so excited to see where this venture takes me. Straight up, I’m just gonna say it, my ultimate goal is to shoot editorial spreads. I want to create pieces of art for the world to see. Whether it be for Vogue or Grace Ormonde, that to me is the dream. I love what I do so much it hurts. OK, maybe HURT isn’t the right word, but it def gives me the butterflies and causes me anxiety (and some other tummy issues) if I go a day without shooting. I eat, drink and breathe photography and I’m so happy to see this little baby of mine growing and flourishing. What started from nothing, has morphed into something wonderful and I couldn’t be happier. It’s funny how easy it is to watch my metaphorical baby grow, while the thought of my human one growing is almost unbearable. I guess that’s the true irony of motherhood. We have our babies, with the idea of raising them into real, live people and yet, all we want is to just freeze time and deal with the growing up part at our latest convenience. I only know one thing to be true at this point in my journey, and that is, I can honestly say that I won’t be sad when my photography has fully grown and takes on a life of it’s own.

I will leave you with a little pic i took yesterday that made me oh so happy 🙂

Well Hey There!

Chances are this is your first time here, because today is the day that I launched my new website! I am so excited/happy/nervous/worried/ecstatic over the outcome. It’s been months and months in the making. I’m talkin I was a total shut in, just editing photos all day every day and I’m afraid the one person that truly felt the effects was Gavin. Poor kid was cooped up for so long 😦  You know you have a problem when you justify a walk around the block to Starbucks, as “getting out of the house” or “being productive.” It was all for a worthy cause though and today is supposed to be 74 and sunny, so my boy and I are gonna go out and enjoy it. ALL DAY.

So, to make myself look legit and seem as though I’m a somewhat established blogger, if you scroll down, you will see I have already written 2 other posts. I did that so you wouldn’t be bored with this boringest of posts. So, take a look see. Hope you enjoy and come back soon…like everyday! Happy Monday!

Diary Of A Perfume Addict

       If you live in the Los Angeles area, then you may have noticed the almost too perfect weather we’ve had the past couple of days. It’s been warm with the faintest hint of a perfect breeze and I couldn’t be happier. It really makes me want…perfume. Yes, that’s what it does and the fact that I get slapped in the face with the most gorgeous scent of freshly bloomed pink jasmine every time I step outside, doesn’t really soothe my one-track mindedness either. In fact, it really helps narrow down what I need. I need the most beautiful, yet natural white floral. I need jasmine. Not a medicinal, cold jasmine, like so many takes on the beautiful flower I have smelt, but something more warm and heady, like a real bushel of pink jasmine mixed with air. So, my search began, like the crackhead of a perfume addict that I am. Countless hours on Luckyscent and Etsy, reading description after description. Well, about 45 samples later (no, really, that’s how many I ordered), 2 trips the Scent Bar and about 12 hrs of research, I have found my summer gems.       Turns out jasmine wasn’t what I was looking for at all! Rather, it was the perfect gardenia that was missing from my life, and let me tell you, it was worth the dinero and the hrs. Go out (or really just open a new window on your computer) and order a bottle of Starlet perfume oil, by Lulubeauty on Etsy. OMG! OMG! AMAZING! This fragrance makes me wanna either be naked, frolicking through a field at about 5 o’clock on a warm summer evening, or, at least be in a super long, chiffon, waist cinched, creamy blush summer dress with an over-sized hat, but hey, to each her own. Phew! I thought I would die if I couldn’t find exactly what I was smelling in my head! But, thank my lucky perfume gods I did and now we can move on to something a little more personal.

Okay, so here it is. I. Am. A. Hippie…at heart. I know this hippie (maybe I mean gypsy? I’m both, okay?) heart has always been there, but I think it really started to flourish the first time I visited Ashland Oregon with my husband and his lovely family (well, they’re really MY lovely family, they just happen to have blood relation to him). They have been going to the Shakespeare Festival, that Ashland is famous for, every 4^th of July, for 40 some odd years. The moment I stepped out of the car, and on to the street fair of Lithia Park, surrounded by hippies, patchouli, the smell of food and incense wafting through the air, I knew I was home. The designer jeans came off, and the newly purchased cheap hippie dress went on and the rest is history. So, now, at about this time, every year, when the air is warm and fragrant, I begin to get that Ashland itch. Real bad. The summery air makes me long for the balmy, warm summer nights sitting under the stars of the Elizabethan Play House, watching another brilliant rendition of Shakespeare, drinking mulled wine and holding hands with the love of my life. I think to myself, “I could do this for the rest of my life. I could just pack up, move my little family to Ashland, raise little hippie babies, open a little studio and just be a hippie photographer who gets payed in play tickets and essential oils. Ya, I could do that”.

If you’re still with me, congratulations! I’m getting to a point, I swear! and this is it… fragrance and memories are to me what spices are to a chef. It has to be just the right spice or herb and just the right amount to take a dish from delightful and good, to something that is unforgettable. For me, I HAVE to have a fragrance to accompany my memories. It has to be the RIGHT fragrance. Something special, thought out and unique, like an amazing recipe. Each year I associate a new fragrance with Ashland. It’s always a summery scent (or maybe I just think it is because it reminds me of Ashland?) and brings me back to that feeling every time I get a whiff. So, in my struggles to find the perfect white floral, I was also having what I call a perfume conniption fit. I was torn between my clean floral mindset, and my dirty hippie heart. So, I did what any good perfume addict would do, and spent a bunch of money on both! My trips to the Scent Bar helped me realize that there is no perfect jasmine perfume in production for a gal like me (remember, because it was a long time ago, it ended up being gardenia, which I found here), but there IS a perfect dirty hippie one!

OK, so it’s not really dirty and I don’t think any hippie would be purchasing it any time soon, but it was EXACTLY what my hippie/gypsy heart was looking for, and I am proud to say that it will see the night of Ashland. It’s called L’Air Du Desert Morocain and it is magic in a bottle. When I was describing the feeling I wanted to convey to the sales associate, I said, “look, to put it bluntly, I wanna smell like an expensive hippie, do ya get me?” He did and this is what he gave me. Turns out this perfume has a huge cult following, so I’m not alone in the obsession. And, no, you will not wreak of patchouli. You will smell warm and beautiful, mysterious and magical,  like its name, Moroccan desert air. Or, if you’re me, you’ll smell exactly like what you dream about… you’ll smell like Ashland.

Random shots of the lusciousness growing in our yard…

Mexican limes and their lovely little blossoms. I like to squeeze these babies onto chicken and then throw some round slices on top before roasting. Makes for a very pretty culinary treat (and makes me look super fancy to dinner guests)!

The delicious pink jasmine that is responsible for my perfume relapse.

Welcome To My World….

       So, here it is. I finally have it together. I’ve only been saying I would do this for 8 months or so (give or take a year). Here’s the dealy-o: my name is Ann and I am married to a way too good for me, out of my league, handsomest in all the land and thinks the world of me, hubby who happens to be an attorney. He likes to bore me with all his legal mumbo jumbo, which i pretend to listen to, but secretly zone out while I think about perfume. Did I mention that I have a not-so-secret obsession with perfume? One of these weeks, I’m going to post a picture of the few hundred bottles I own. Not even joking. It’s gonna take me like 5 hrs to actually set up the photograph, but you mark my words, I WILL do it! We have the sweetest little boy, Gavin, who is the handsomest toddler in all the land and loves me unconditionally. For that, I could never complain about a single thing in my life again. Oh, and I’m a photographer who really loves her family and all things lovely….so it only makes sense that I shoot weddings.

       Some other stuff about me: I’m useless without my first 5 cups of coffee and a starbucks iced sugar free vanilla americano in the a.m. and I have a slightly disturbing addiction to iCarly and Victorious. My handsome (the husband) does too!  I know, we’re totally preteen, but whatev’s. Oh, and I moved to L.A. to be a makeup artist, succeeded at it, still do it, love it and always will. It’s one of my passions, second only to photography. So, there you have it.

       I created this blog to document my journey as a photographer and, of course, write about all things lovely. Seeing as the title happens to be “lovely little blog,” I should prolly make good on that! I will leave you with few pics that say a lil somethin about me 🙂  WELCOME!

gavin the great

my handsome boys

me

the pics i take